You know when you’re up in the club with your girls boys, and some village troll come and try lay it on you with a cheesy chat-up line. Well, it seems nowadays you don’t have to spend £8 on a Pornstar Martini for the pleasure. And I know you’ve heard people say “God loves a trier”. Well, there’s a trier, and then there’s a liar. Brooklyn Beckham and Channing Tatum look nothing alike. So either “Lloyd” thinks feeble comparisons to celebrities will get him the D, or gal needs to call her opticians.

Sent in from Carl, London.

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